Tanzanian Association Oslo

Open letter to Osama Bin Laden

Adam Lusekelo

Daily News; Wednesday,December 05, 2007 @00:01

HE must be an imperialist agent - the guy who sent me that letter. Or, he could be a communist agent provocateur, or both.

‘Eti’, he says we all know that Osama Bin Laden’s ambition in life has been to destroy America for many years. ‘Eti’, Osama has put a lot of time, money and effort to train terrorists and suicide bombers to do his bidding.

The cheeky guy, who wrote me that letter, says that he has come up with a simple, cheap and effective plan, which will help Osama to achieve his aim.

The agent-provocateur says that all Osama has to do is pick just one Tanzanian government official and get him elected into the US government and that’s all.

Thanks to this government competence within a month the Niagara Falls will dry up. The nation’s power generators will mysteriously and inexplicably start blowing up and develop technical faults. America will be plunged into darkness. The economy will plummet and pollution will be on the rise.

As things get worse the ex-Tanzania officer will go on TV and boldly tell them that the economy is growing at double digits.

All the money allocated to alleviate the power crisis will be lost in this individual’s ravenous pockets and accumulated in his Swiss accounts.

Even though the country's people will be devastated by the crisis, he, impevous to their cries for help, will be focusing on more ‘important’ issues like buying new presidential planes and touring foreign countries to promote is country.

The only thing that will be developing during this dire period, will be this person’s bulging tummy. Very cheeky stuff from this agent of imperialism. Our glorious rulers are gym friendly and they have modest tummies!

‘Eti’, eventually the ex-Tanzanian in America will decide to hire a non-existent company called Richmond to supply emergency power generators, which will promptly go on strike.

The cheecky guy says that - mind you the move will be backed by an even more brilliant plan to employ specialist who claim to be able to make rain.

Not surprisingly, these plans will fail and lo! And behold! America will be lost in oblivion. All this thanks to the intelligence, sincerity and competence of just one Tanzanian politician.

Then Osama Bin laden can pay a state visit from his hideouts in the wilderness of Afghanistan to come and thank Tanzania for supplying its secret weapon to him.

Then this provocateur asks me that – aren’t we lucky to have so many of them running our country?

mbwene2@yahoo.com